Mentally and physically, I've been exhausted. I shut down when that happens, but it doesn't mean that I accomplish anything. I haven't done anything else in the kitchen since my last post, except make a bit of a mess.
I wonder why or how it is that I can leave things without seeing them through to an end? If I trim the fat off of a steak, why are the trimmings still on the cutting mat the next morning? Why is it so hard for me to pick the mat up and scrape them into the trash?
I am NOT a lazy person. I work hard and get some amazing things done. But there is certainly a disconnect somewhere. I wish I understood it.
On a good note, I emptied all the trash and got the bin out to the curb this week. That's an accomplishment, right? I wish I could feel like all the little victories do add up and matter.
I even wonder why I care to write this blog. Does it even make a difference? Are there others who are struggling? Or am I simply a disgusting pig that is so damaged that nothing can help?
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