It is rather early and I did not sleep last night again. I putzed around in the kitchen for a few hours, still not finishing everything on the list from a few days ago.
On a side note: I find it oddly fascinating that in America, we use the phrase "putzing around" in the United States to mean behaving idly, wasting time, and not getting much done. However, the verb "putzen" (infinitive form) in German means to clean. My friend that helped me for a few hours the other day is from Germany.
What I did accomplish, however:
- Dropped two suits to the dry cleaners
- Straightened up the pantry and a big storage cupboard
- Reorganized my three cabinets, moving things around to make more sense
- Re-seasoned my cast iron skillet
- Boxed up a set of glassware and a few other kitchen items to donate (or sell at a yard sale)
- Made a half gallon of iced tea
- Put away the clean dishes from the dishwasher (on the list)
- Loaded up more dishes and washed them, and will put away first thing after I get a few hours sleep
- Set the timer on my coffee maker to have my coffee ready at 7:30
So, I did make some progress in the kitchen, though it still isn't where I want it to be. I may take a picture of it when I get up, though I don't have a before picture.
I also talked to my daughter last night. I've told her about the blog, as I wanted to ask her what she remembered about growing up with me. I wanted to know if she could shed some light on when things started to get out of hand. She claimed that what she saw is that it was more the paper organization that seemed to be the issue for me.
I think that the conversation that I had with my friend a day or two before was spot-on. I think the triggering factor for my hoarding to the point it is today was when my daughter left home under much less than ideal circumstances, and the subsequent years of silence and little to no relationship for many years. I went through a major depression, left my marriage, and started seeing a counselor.
As I was dealing with some issues and getting my life on track, I also started the protective behavior of not allowing people to come over by making sure that I would be too embarrassed to let them in. I avoided answering phone calls, the door bell, and would always make sure if I got together socially, it was out doing something away from my living space.
I want to get back to having people over. It's going to take me some time before I will be comfortable letting people in again, literally and figuratively, but I will allow my girlfriend to come over and help me, when she can and will stop avoiding her.
Maybe just admitting these things this past week is a start. Maybe there really is some hope for me.
Copyright ©2015 The Anonymous Hoarder
Photo credits: Pixabay
No comments:
Post a Comment